Captain Coitus and the Circles of Sexuality!

 

    Ok, show of hands who remembers Captain Planet and the Planeteers, you know, that old T.V show that was about environmentalism?  It had 5 individuals hailing from different parts of the world using the powers of their magic rings containing an elemental(along with heart cause why not), to summon Captain Planet; a powerful hero who can take pollution down to zero!  The show dealt with some serious issues outside environmentalism such as drug abuse, street violence, and HIV/AIDS...this was show was very progressive for its time!  But the key thing that always stood out was that separately the Planeteers could do some impressive stuff with their rings but together they were at their strongest cause they could summon Captain Planet!  Now I know what you are thinking, what does this have to do with sex, and why does Captain Planet look like he is doing a Jojo pose on meth?  Well, allow me to explain!

 

     I present to you The Circles of Sexuality!  Five interconnected circles that encompass different aspects of human sexuality that can help a person conceptualize their overall values when it comes to their personal views of sex and sexuality!  Through Sensuality, Sexualization, Intimacy, Sexual Identity, and Sexual Health and Reproduction; they all combine to form a persons building blocks of values revolving around sex and sexuality.  With proper exploration of these circles I feel that anyone and EVERYONE can have a better understanding of sex as well as deconstruct and unlearn harmful information that might have been taught years prior.  If you look at the picture you can see what each circle entails as well as a good definition of each circle.  Ever since I learned about this, my mind has been buzzing around on this idea, but it poses a question for me...what if I made my own circles?  I mean not that there is anything wrong with this diagram, but it could not hurt to create one of my own.  By doing this, I am essentially creating my own Captain Planet and the Planeteers.....or in my case Captain Coitus and the Circles of Sexuality!  With all that being said, let me show you what I have!

 Circle number 1:  Communication 

    Before any kind of sexual fun can be had, it is vital to communicate with your partner(s) about what is about to happen and what is it that you both want.  I am a fortune teller but not a mind reader, and no one on this planet is a mind reader....to my knowledge!  Thus being able to communicate with the people you are with is vital.  You need to ask for things like consent and be cognizant that at anytime people who gave consent have the right to revoke consent if they wanted too and thus MUST be respected!  You don't want to end up doing something they did not enjoy and vice versa.  Some may feel that talking is boring or lame, but in actuality it can be one of the sexiest things you do with someone!  Check in on them to make sure they are comfortable as well as asking what they like and enjoy is a big deal that can help make the experience more fun as a whole!  

 

Circle number 2:  Sexual/Reproductive Health

    I know a lot of us can be eager as hell when it comes to wanting to jump in bed with people, however when was the last time you got tested?  How often are you tested?  Did you make sure your previous partners were tested too?  Being sexually active means you are also sexually responsible for your body, that is why getting tested often is important because you don't want to pass an STD/STI to someone without knowing.  Plus if you have something, you can take steps to treat it and prevent it from getting worse.  Also while we are talking about responsibility, if you are having sex with someone where pregnancy is a risk, are you taking precautions on what to do to prevent said pregnancy as well as do you have plans in case there are accidents?  These are things that need to be known, because we are all here for a good time, so lets make sure the good times last!

 

 Circle number 3:  Sexual and Gender Identity

        Knowing who you are and the people you are into plays a huge part in your sexual experience.  Everyone has a preference and having a preference is fine, you have to acknowledge this preference, lean into it, and embrace what comes along with it(as long as it is not illegal).  Yet, it does not stop with your sexuality, your gender identity is just as important as well; and questioning that can help you strengthen and solidify who you are in general  Regardless if you are cisgender transgender/in the trans umbrella, it plays a part in your overall sexual experience. It's the feeling of embracing your true self and being around people who respect you that makes sex even better!  I mean you are exposing yourself to someone who sees you naked, why not embrace your truest identity!  Plus if it helps, no one can tell you what to be, or who to be attracted too; you know who you are and what you prefer thus knowing your identity and sexuality ultimately helps with having a great time.

 

Circle number 4:  Connection 

        A wise person once told me that the best sex you can have with someone is the kind when you're sexually attracted to the person both before act and after the act.  The reason being is due to more than just looks but the vibes and connection you get from the person.  There are people who like to randomly hook up with others and not have any communication afterwards you know "hit it and quit it".  If a hook up is all you want with no questions asked then awesome in fact, ballin, you do you!  But, it can be an even better experience if you sit down and let a connection form.  This is similar to he communication circle be it talking to the person, but this is a bit different because you are trying to get to know the person beyond sexual intercourse.  Learning about their shared interest, and passions as well as hobbies as well as you doing the same.  After all, can you see yourself having sex with someone whom you literally cant stand to be around?  

Circle number 5:  Proactive Engagement

    There are people who view sex like it is a sport, like a game of baseball; personally that's unnecessarily competitive...and I am a very competitive person!  Sex is never meant to be a sport because in a sporting event there tends to be winners and losers.  Sex is like a dance....or better yet a cooperative video game!  Everyone is working together to get the most fun out of it, thus its not about me, but instead it is about we!  This means that you cannot let your partner(s) carry you to the end (unless that is what they want and everyone is ok with that), you have to engage and be willing to participate in the action too.  This means holding hands, kissing, cuddling, sending messages, and being flirty!  When both sides are proactive in their engagement before sex as well as during sex, then the sex is overall more fun!  It's like having a Fighter and a Cleric team up and plan to sack a goblin camp!  Plus if you ever wanted to spice it up, The Cleric can go Barbarian while the fighter can be a bard...am I making these D&D references because I decided to use a picture of Lae'zel from Baldur's Gate 3?  Absolutely!

 

Final Thoughts

    Everyone, has their own values when it comes to sex.  No one is going to have the end all be all circles that EVERYONE needs to follow.  My Circles work for me because these are the things that I view as important and I explained why they are important.  I strongly encourage others to do the same, I mean for real sit down and discuss what is it that you find and value that is important when it comes to sex and how you approach it.  Doing this can open up many doors to your sexuality, gender identity and more; plus if you wanted too; after you have conceptualized this information, you can live your life like generation 3 of Pokemon; Hoenn, but with standards!